Are you one of those guys who’s constantly afraid that his girlfriend is counting and that he’s come up short? Do jokes about stamina, commercials about longer sex and songs about “all night long” leave you shifting in your seat, turning a bright shade of red and hoping no one asks how long your last “night” was? Does it take you longer to run the mile than it does to . . . well, does it? If so, stop fretting.

A study of sex has found that the fantasy - the hours of pleasure or even the 20 minutes most couples expect - isn’t the ideal length of time. The ideal is seven to 13 minutes, but even just three to seven can be adequate. That amount of time will satisfy both parties. Neither will worry that it wasn’t long enough, and neither will lament that it was too long. So rest easy, you don’t have to wow her for hours on end, but you do still have to wow her.

A shorter timeframe is not an excuse for a shoddy effort. You need to make the most of those seven to 13 minutes, finding ways to please . . . both of you. Discover what she wants, what you want, where the two meet and just how fun that intersection can be. Use up all the energy you have (it’s not as if you’re going to need it for an inordinate amount of time). Go crazy, and when you’re done, neither one of you should have any idea how many minutes have passed. 

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If he’s got a little bit of a belly, sex can be more difficult than rewarding. You have to maneuver around the flab and find ways to make everything work, which isn’t always easy. Fortunately, there’s advice - there’s always advice on how to make the most of the situation. But even if you follow it, success may not be forthcoming. You may have one more problem: erectile dysfunction.

His weight directly affects his ability to perform. You see, just as extra pounds restrict blood flow to the heart, they limit circulation to the sexual organs. As a result, he can’t do a thing. He can’t participate in the one activity that’s always on his mind. Talk about punishment.

If your man has a Buddha-like belly, encourage him to lose some weight, using his bedroom dormancy as a motivator. It might be the one thing that finally inspires him to change his ways. Of course, he won’t drop the pounds overnight, and neither of you really want to wait until his weight no longer affects his ability, so until then, rely on other means of stimulation.

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What’s a man’s worst fear? Impotence. Okay, it may not be his worst fear but it is one of the top ten, which is why any procedure that could affect sexual performance is agonized over not just by the men but by doctors as well. If there’s a risk of impotency, confidence falters, and procedures are delayed, furthering health risks. So it is always with much relief that practices with the potential to save lives, such as adult circumcision, are deemed 100% sex-safe. But for many procedures the findings are not always so cut and dry. Your imminent prostate surgery being one of them, as research has been nothing but contradictory.

Depending on where you look, you will unearth both negative and positive outcomes. On the one hand, 97 percent of men achieve an erection adequate for intercourse, post-recovery; on the other, only 47 percent return to their normal sex lives. Which do you believe?

Sadly, the latter is the more truthful of the two studies. An adequate erection in the eyes of a doctor is not necessarily the same as an adequate erection in the eyes of a man. Coming out of prostate surgery, you will more than likely not experience the same sexual prowess as you did prior, but you can combat this by accepting your fate and treating it.

Erectile dysfunction drugs were created for a reason. They may not eliminate all occasions of impotency, but they will lessen the frequency. Talk with your doctor before the surgery and after about which ones are best for you. Do not believe that you know more than he and grab one willy-nilly from the nearest outlet without consultation. That could lead to more problems and a never-ending occurrence of potential impotence.

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According to recent research, it’s love not lust that makes the opposite sex less . . . sexy.  A survey of 120 undergrads in committed relationships found that those who reflected on great moments of romantic love rather than great feats of sexual prowess were four times less likely to dwell on, as the study termed it, hotties. The participants had been shown pictures of either men or women from the site Hot or Not and asked to choose the most appealing. They were then asked to write about a moment in their relationship that either revolved around love or lust. Again, those who thought about love were less likely to think about the selected eye candy and could identify fewer positive attributes when asked. So it seems that love does conquer all, but it shouldn’t do so alone.

Sex is an important part of all romantic relationships. Unfortunately, for some, it’s a part that doesn’t last or may never have existed at all. For these couples, the idea of what they wanted, what they were supposed to do and the excitement of achieving both masked the fact that there was and is nothing going on in the bedroom.  The dry spell can’t be written off as a result of children, health or age, or even as a dry spell. They aren’t having sex, because they don’t want to. And this causes unhappiness, frustration and miscommunication, and, in the worst of cases, adultery, separation and a permanent end to a duo.

If you are in a relationship that works on paper but fizzles in reality, you want to consider why. If it is just a dry spell (you can’t be hot and heavy 24/7 – talk about exhausting), take a deep breath. It’s going to be alright. You’ll get back between the sheets eventually. Of course, it won’t happen magically. You will have to be willing to discuss sex, be open and honest, and perhaps try new things, but it should come. If it doesn’t, you need to figure out if it was there in the first place. Did you ever have the chemistry or were you just ignoring the lack? If it’s the latter, you should reassess the relationship, because you shouldn’t just love the one you’re with. You should want him, too.

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In true French spirit, the citizens of that noble country have compiled a 600 page (any less would be heresy) report on sex, and the findings are great, in so many ways. It turns out that everyone in France, from the young adults to the aging seniors, is having sex. Only 3.5 percent of women 18 to 35 are abstinent, and 90 percent of women over 50 are still sexually active. Ladies in their 30s and 40s have had an average of 5.1 lovers while men have had 12.9. The whole country is getting busy.

Now, what about you? Chances are you are nowhere near France, and as a result, your West Coast bedroom is nothing like the typical Parisian boudoir. But you wouldn’t mind if it was. Who, after all, doesn’t want to have as much sex as the French . . . provided it’s good. How then can you go about stimulating a somewhat dormant aspect of your life?

Clean.

That’s right, clean. Pick up a mop, plug in the vacuum, fill the sink and break out the dust rag. Tell her to go sit down while you take care of the mundane household chores, and chances are you’ll be rewarded in ways that are far from mundane. At least, that’s what a recent study, which found that men are cleaning more and having sex more, says. And who are you to argue with scientific research?

Clean, clean, clean, and you’ll get to be less than clean later.

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Gentlemen, I have good news. The average woman thinks about sex a lot more than she lets on. In fact, it happens about 34 times a day, averaging out to once every 14 minutes.  While that’s not exactly equivalent to your own frequency, which probably averages out to once every 14 seconds (or more), it is quite often, very likely eclipsing the number of times she thinks about food, exercise or . . . um . . . work? But before you get too excited, you should know the reason why she’s thinking about it so often: dissatisfaction.

That hurt, didn’t it?

Unfortunately, it’s true. Most women aren’t sitting at their desks with a satisfied smirk playing on their faces. They’re sitting there thinking, “I wish I had more sex,” “I wish I had more fun sex,” and “I wish I could make a few of my fantasies realties.” Now, hopefully, you are a man who wants to rise to the challenge, who wants to make those 34 thoughts 34 pleasurable memories rather than discontented fantasies. And you can, quite easily. It’s simply going to involve a little preparation and a little effort.

To start with, talk to her. Find out what those fantasies are, because if you don’t know, you can never act them out. And besides, you might very well be surprised. A bold desire can quickly be silenced by shyness, leading you to incorrectly believe that she’s never once thought the same things you have. Once you know, pave the way for the evening.  Do the things that will get her in the mood. Make her dinner before she gets home from the office, rent the DVD she’s been dying to see, dress up, don’t dress or just send her a text message. Set the stage. Once you get around to actually having sex, think back to those first few months - the heated passion, the spontaneity, the fun - bringing it all back to your bedroom.  And when she’s at work Monday morning, she’ll be thinking about sex as often as you are, but it won’t be because she’s dissatisfied.

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It’s the holy grail of female sexual satisfaction. Every woman hopes she has it and even more desperately hopes it can be found. It is the key, according to some, to mind blowing pleasure. Without it, there’s no such thing as actual achievement and feasibly no reason to try. It is the G spot and it has been, since the 1980s, an allusive mystery taunting both men and women with its potential existence.

Fortunately, Italian researchers believe they have found it.  A study of 20 women  revealed, with the use of ultrasounds, that those who achieved orgasm through vaginal stimulation – those who had a G spot – had thicker tissue between their vagina and urethra. If this is true, if they have actually located the G spot, certain women are destined for unimaginable pleasure and everyone else is not.

Depressed? If you’ve already proven that you have a G spot, I imagine you are anything but, smugly smirking as you remember last night’s adventures. But if you’re still on the quest, I would bet that you’re at least somewhat downtrodden. What if you don’t have a G spot? What are you supposed to do? Throw in the towel now and accept a future of so-so sex?

Absolutely not. Doing that would imply that there is only one way to have sex, only one way to achieve satisfaction and no hope for you, but that’s not the case. Women were enjoying sex long before the G spot came into play. They were, rather than fixating on a possibility, learning to understand their bodies and what stimulated them. If you want to be sexually satisfied, forget about the G spot. Forget about the tales your girlfriends share during gossip hour. Forget about the stories on TV and in books. Find what works for you. You are an individual, and as such, how you and your partner discover mind-numbing pleasure is an individual matter.

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Once again your man’s ability to read is giving him ideas that are not only interfering with your life but causing you physical pain and potential deformity. Suddenly, he wants you to wear high heels all the time, because they improve your sex life. The way they force you to stand puts your pelvic muscles in the optimum position, maximizing both strength and the ability to contract. This, in turn, betters your sexual performance and satisfaction. How wonderful is that? And look! He stopped on the way home and bought you a new pair of heels, because he noticed that your collection was lacking. Sweet, huh?

Well, it would be (who doesn’t love new shoes!) if you weren’t painfully aware of just what those stilettos would do to you. High heels, thanks to their narrow, pointed toes and tendency to fit a little too snugly, cause a myriad of foot problems, starting with bunions. The painful swelling erupts at the base of your big toe, and you are left hobbling and staring at an unappealing deformity.  And even if you don’t get bunions, you’re bound to get something, such as calluses, corns, ingrown toenails or pinched nerves. Your foot will become a twisted mass that could kill anyone’s mood, even your over-eager boyfriend’s.

But how do you refuse the shoes or at least manage not to wear them as often as he would like without squashing his joy?

Why not offer him a few alternatives for bettering bedroom activity? Show that while you aren’t willing to suffer for sex you are willing to do something. Start by creating a meal that is both delicious and arousing. Men’s Health, an ever-avid source of sex tips, has several suggestions regarding which dishes from smoothies to dinners will give you the best results. Once you finishing eating, Women’s Health has a few ideas on which products will suit your specific situation.4 And of course, there are the always reliable and oh-so-traditional methods of bettering sex via music, candles and massage oil. Heels all day, every day are not the only way to have great sex. You know that; now, enlighten your well-intentioned guy. 

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Romance is difficult enough to maintain when there are no medical obstacles in the way. Miscommunication, unrealistic expectations, fatigue, work, stress and any number of internal/external factors can extinguish even the most sensual of moods. Couples throughout the world struggle to keep passion’s flame burning, but it can be a trying task. And when you add a disease, such as diabetes, into the mix, it becomes even more insurmountable.

A diagnosis of diabetes immediately changes your life. Foods that you once savored are banned.  You must be more conscious of your meals’ content – fat, calories, sugar – and thus cannot indulge in the romantic dinners you once did. Your Friday night, candlelit, French forays are mere memories. But you could do without those particular preludes, if the main event were the same. It’s not. Continue Reading >>

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If you’re a parent, Hollywood’s youngest heroines and their recent announcements, true or otherwise, are probably causing you a great deal of distress. How are you supposed to keep your child from having sex when her idols are pregnant? Jamie Lynn Spears and Miley Cyrus are two of the most well known faces on Nickelodeon and Disney, respectively, and now, their sexual experiences are being broadcast across the nation. Is there any hope of keeping your daughter from following in their footsteps?

Yes, but only if you’re willing to speak. You can use Jamie Lynn’s pregnancy and Miley’s baby-scare to start the conversation you’ve been too nervous to have.  But make sure that you have more to work with than “So, Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant.” Make sure that you have a plan.

To create one, take the following tips and work from there. You’ll formulate an in depth talk that is well worth having:

• Know Yourself – if you have no idea what your opinions about teenage sex are, your teen won’t either. Think through your own beliefs, past experiences and attitudes.
• Don’t Hesitate  –teens are having sex earlier and earlier. The longer you wait, the less influence you’ll have. You want to broach the subject before the first time. If you do, you may delay the inevitable or at least make it safer.
• Use Movies and Television – if Jamie Lynn isn’t a good starting point, look elsewhere. The media is full of references that you can use as ways to relate to your teen and catch her interest.
• Listen – you have your opinions; she has hers. If you brush over them, she’ll never take you seriously. Respect your child; listen to her and work together to determine how to keep her safe and happy.

• Image Source: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a9/Season_4_Zoey_101.jpg

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Recent research has revealed some interesting information about our sexual habits. It seems that we’re a bit more promiscuous than previously thought. Approximately 11 percent of men have more than one sex partner  and one in five young travelers sleep with a stranger during their trip.  It also turns out that a woman’s desire to engage in some risky business is internally sourced, meaning once a month (during ovulation) she can’t help but fall for the bad guy. And fall she does, right into bed.  This information wouldn’t be too disturbing (aside from the various moral implications) if it weren’t for some equally startling STD news.

We broke records in 2006, reporting more Chlamydia cases than the country has ever seen.  Over one million diagnoses were documented, with the estimated actual occurrence being closer to three million. Gonorrhea and syphilis skyrocketed, too. The previously declining diseases steadily rose throughout the year, reaching numbers in the upper thousands. And those are just the STDs that have to be nationally reported. Nineteen million new cases of all STDs occur annually, the majority stemming from genital herpes, papillomavirus and trichomonas infections. Yet, as the aforementioned habits suggest, we aren’t doing much to combat them.

But we should be. We should all be having safe sex.  We s